Advocate Mommy

 It can be incredibly intimidating becoming a part of a team of professionals who all know each other and have been doing this for years.  You are essentially the outsider and the subject of this meeting is your child.  It's highly emotional and combined with the initial intimidation...ooof.   You may find yourself nodding along to whatever is said while inside you are extremely confused.   Solutions:  1) Ask a lot of questions, every question that pops into your head as it comes up.  Stopping the conversation to ask a question so you can have clarity is EXACTLY the right thing to do. 2) Hire an advocate.  An advocate is there to help you understand and to make sure that all the correct supports are in place, appropriate goals are included and that the IEP is implemented correctly.   3) Do your own research, there is a ton of stuff out there but your school should give you a parents rights packet, you can start there, Google IDEA law and look...

Does your child have a hard time when the schedule changes last minute?  Heck do you struggle when your schedule now includes finding childcare or working from home while your children have a pseudo vacation day?   Planning for a random snow day doesn't have to be torture on all of you.  I like to have a few special treats set aside for snow days that are a) not a lot of extra work for me and b) something the kids can look forward to and start the day knowing what the schedule may be.   If your kid needs a set schedule for the whole day, come up with something that can be used multiple times and each snow day.  If your child is ok with an unscheduled day but needs some structure have a few tricks up your sleeve that only come out on a random day off.   Here are some simple and realistic ideas: 1) Midday movies with popcorn and hot chocolate 2) Watercolor paints (my favorite because they are super easy to clean) 3) A special puzzle  4) Pancake breakfast...

 After actually starting public pre-k and getting to know the teachers and seeing progress, I felt better about NEEDING a team of people to help me take care of my kid (because really I'm his mom and it's basically my only job right????  What does it mean when I can't give him EVERYTHING he needs myself).  I still felt all knotted up and ready for a fight before IEP meetings.  I was all "This is My Fight Song" and "Eye of the Tiger" on the way to meetings.   Once I walked in the conference room door and saw the pre-k teacher's sweet smiling face and a phone with the speech therapist's voice (she was out with the flu but wanted to give her part...which could have easily been done when she was better) and the VP who actually knows who my kid is...that I realized these are great people.  These are my people, they are my son's people.  They are not here to fight me, they are here for the EXACT same reason I am...they are here because they want to...

  You have had questions about your child's development and either people have brushed off your concerns or are not much help.  The reality is, yes sometimes kids develop skills later than others, yes, sometimes toddlers have sleep issues they grow out of, yes, sometimes dropping dairy does the trick.  The thing is...sometimes it's more than that and your parent gut is telling you it's more.  There are things you can do to help with sleep and development etc...but what do you do, how do you do it, and how do you know if it's working?  Hard Truth: it's a lot of guess work and trial and error. But what do you do first.  Well...that I can help with.  First if your child is under age 3 look up your county  Early Intervention Program, your pediatrician can refer your child or you can refer your child.  They will do a FREE developmental evaluation.  I referred 2 out of 4 of my own children and had a great experience with them both times. ...

 I sat in many more IEP meetings after that first one.  Mostly uncomplicated IEP's with accommodations that I'd provide to any of my first graders or kinders even without an IEP and services that were outsourced to the resource teacher or speech or OT.  Turns out each of these meetings and all the paperwork involved gave me a hand up when it came time for my own son to get his first IEP. The jargon, the process, the repetitive way of writing the same thing over and over again, the team of experts with acronyms after their names and different roles and goals are just one part of learning how to IEP.  Those previous meetings and experiences for "my kiddos" in my teaching years gave me a baseline knowledge when I first took on the role as parent on the IEP team. It sounds a bit dramatic, but picture this:  You are in a room with a bunch of other adults at their job on their turf, they all know each other well and work together every day.  They are pointing out...

  About a million years ago...give or take...I was a brand new fresh out of college bright eyed and bushy tailed first year teacher ready to change the lives of her students.  I absolutely loved going to work everyday, I had won the lottery in the form of my dream job.  As much as I loved it, the fear of failure was right there front and center.  I wasn't necessarily worried about losing my job, but failing my students, not teaching them effectively and in turn they wouldn't be set up for success. If I didn't do my job teaching first grade skills they wouldn't be ready for the second grade skills and basically their whole lives would be ruined...right?   Thankfully I had an amazing support system of teachers around me to help me and encourage me.  I knew that I was working with the best of the best and knew I would be supported.   Anyway...my first IEP meeting took place as a brand new fresh 21 year old baby teacher.  I was the regular education t...

It's a new year, a great starting point.  I know you can improve yourself at any point but I always like a clear beginning...1st of the month, Mondays, New Years Day...all my preferred start dates. Here are a couple things you can do to become a more involved and knowledgable member of the IEP team: 1) Communication - in the beginning it might be easy to email the teacher every Sunday night, an email they can get sometime on Monday.  Set an alarm on your phone.  Any information you share is great.   "We went to the zoo over the weekend, ___ loved watching the elephants" - The teacher may have a great elephant book she can share and it may help give her questions to prompt discussion. "_____ hasn't been sleeping well.  We are working on it, but just wanted to let you know." - "Oh so that's why _____ hasn't been able to complete work as well as last month" or the teacher could keep an eye out for signs they need rest.  Lots of time sleep issu...