A Better IEP Experience

 After actually starting public pre-k and getting to know the teachers and seeing progress, I felt better about NEEDING a team of people to help me take care of my kid (because really I'm his mom and it's basically my only job right????  What does it mean when I can't give him EVERYTHING he needs myself).  I still felt all knotted up and ready for a fight before IEP meetings.  I was all "This is My Fight Song" and "Eye of the Tiger" on the way to meetings.  

Once I walked in the conference room door and saw the pre-k teacher's sweet smiling face and a phone with the speech therapist's voice (she was out with the flu but wanted to give her part...which could have easily been done when she was better) and the VP who actually knows who my kid is...that I realized these are great people.  These are my people, they are my son's people.  They are not here to fight me, they are here for the EXACT same reason I am...they are here because they want to make sure my kid has the best opportunity to learn.  They love him, they think he is silly and sweet, they appreciate his sense of humor and can't resist his adorable face.  They thought it was cleaver when he rearranged his picture schedule to put recess in the place of a less desired activity.  They loved that when he started scripting "Hocus Pocus where are you?" (From Frosty the Snowman) and the whole class started repeating the same line that they ended up adding movie to their winter unit.  These are the people who each emailed me/texted me/came out to the car during carpool to tell me the story of how he shared his pretzel with Ms. Alison.  

So...why did I want to fight them?  I didn't.  

Reframing my expectations meant I was able to focus and participate.  Did we all always agree?  No.  Did I always get my way? No.  Did discussion happen?  YES. Did my kid get what he needed even though I didn't bring my boxing gloves? YES  Do I think my more relaxed positive demeanor changed the way everyone else approached the meeting in a way that made me more a part of the team and not an outsider? 100% YES.

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